first post.

sometimes it takes an old friend and hilariously poor (but amazing) judgement calls in life to really get the message that starting a blog is totally called for.

the term 'necessary' comes to mind.

the phrase 'i can never do anything in the public eye once this gets rolling' also comes to mind.

i am hours away from hopping on a plane to scotland, leaving behind my friends and family, my cat steve, and all the boys i have loved before. bad break-ups with cheating old men are good things to leave behind, so this, my first entry, is dedicated to the lying douchebag that recently reported his less-than-saintly behaviour.

[i am all for less-than-saintly behaviour, but save it for single life, boys and girls.]

i am including the last contact i have made with the ex.

it was the greatest, kinda-sorta drunk, accomplishment i have ever been a part of.

drunk me is vicious and the kind of bitch i always looked up to.

so enjoy, judge, and, scotland, watch out because i am invading your country in a matter of hours.

xox.

so.

well, this will be the last contact we have, i will make sure of it.

i loved you. and in the time we have not spoken and the time we have not proclaimed any sort of love for each other, i realized i did not care as much as i thought i would.

you lied to me so many times. aside from the age thing, the kid thing, the fact that i knew your ex still loved you and you said she did not, but then told me she told you often she loved you, aside from all the bullshit you told me, i still loved you. you lied once about "finishing work for the day" then like twenty minutes later said you had the day off... it is bullshit.

YOU ARE FULL OF BULLSHIT.

you lied to me so many times and i just thought i could pass it off and pretend it did not matter because they were "little" lies, and trust me, i knew the lies you told me and do not be an asshole and think i am that stupid.. you lied to me way too much and you really thought that blaming me about cheating and being an unfaithful douchebag would make you feel better, i meant everything i said, every letter i sent, every tear i shed, every time i told you i was not cheating, i would no do that to you. ever. so, really, get a fucking reality check. you are the cheating bastard. you are the liar. you are the one with NO BALLS that avoids me for over a week to tell me you fucked someone else. you are less than a man. you deserve no respect from anyone. i do not care how talented you are and how talented you think you are, you are a fucking shitty human being. and really, being a decent person means more than being a good tattoo artist. you may have talent, but you are full of yourself, and you are a fucking cocky, lying prick that should not deserve the praise you have gotten. you are a paranoid asshole and for all the wrong reasons. i would have stayed by your side for decades and you got bored and fucked it up.

you really are my biggest mistake, regret, and fucking shittiest boyfriend i have ever had. by far. you are truly at the lowest of the low of men in my life. and as i said before, i will get over you, which has been quite easy, but you will always be a cheating, lying, asshole. you disgust me, you make me glad i am single right now. on more than one occasion i have had someone say "oh that fat old guy? you can do so much better anyway". and it is true.

you are shit.

total shit.

so i really hope it was worth it.

you are fucking worthless and at some point, i hope you realize that because all of THIS makes it so fucking clear why you are and have been single for so long.. you ARE a deadbeat dad. you ARE a liar. and you ARE cheater. none of those things can you object to. i am just an idiot for ever thinking any different.

so fuck you. i really do hate you.

you have been a terrible and awful point in my life.